Forthelooveeofmusic Presents: THE RELEASE. 3rd Edition. Poet Brittney Isbell.

19 May

taking a break from the music…

it’s me again.  last night was a restless night for me but God treated me to a sunrise & good thoughts.  being up till 6am was all worth it. these are my thoughts. y’all reacted to my first poem very well so i think i’ll do this more often.  it feels so good knowing that y’all can relate to how i feel.

xo,

Brittney

Not Quite Right.

i’ll try my hardest, with all my might. mama told me to let go of it if it don’t make you feel right.

i’m an emotional creature with needs.  i need to express myself and I need to be free. I need to be loved and i need to be able to love somebody.

right at this moment, in no way do i feel free. you see, i’m afraid my thoughts have captured me.

conflicting emotions, unrelenting notions to send that text… make that call…

when at the end of the day, either of those would only lead to the pressure of the fall.

it seems that Pandora’s box has been opened in my soul.  & for some odd reason, i can’t seem to gain control.  my emotions are everywhere. they’re everything.  every corner i turn, he’s everywhere &  every thought i think, he’s everything.

in time, God may grant me  the pleasure of forgetting his name. ill probably forget the simple shit such as his birthday but i’ll never forget how he made me feel.

and all y’all know that’s real.

but back those conflicting emotions to send that call which would ultimately lead to the weight of it all.

i’m at a crossroad. i’ve been through this before.  telling myself, just hold off a little longer, this time will be different.

we’ll spend time different.

we’ll understand each other different.

we’ll exercise the meaning of love… different.

then there’s reality.  now, Brittney. you know…

ain’t nothin gon change.

two weeks of not speaking to you only equates to one night when compared to the duration of our relationship.  & we all know, don’t shit change over night. how can something be fixed when we don’t even know what’s right?

do you know how to love me? how i like to feel?

change in relationships such as ours has to begin individually. before this weight of bad can even begin to think about going positive, time must be spent figuring out what went negative. coming back again expecting something different with the same efforts & the same expectations will only lead you back to the seat you began at.

who ever knew it would get this real?

you made my body react. sugar sweet nights coated with honey and dipped in pleasure. eyes wide shut.. & remember, i was “baby that was down for whatever. those oohs and ah’s have no comparison to the pressure of this pain.

had i known what i knew now… i would have taken a left that day i thought it was right to fall smack dab into love with you.

all things happen for a reason but i can’t help wondering why.

sunset after sunset, no answer from God just yet.

trapped in my thoughts, i need to be free. i need to live and i need to be me.

therefore, i gotta let this love thing between me and you just… be.

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